Consider these suggestions for a direct conversation with a cadet:

• Ask the cadet if you can schedule a one-on-one meeting.
• Let someone else in your department or office know about the scheduled meeting so they can be available if necessary.
• Tell the cadet what behaviors you have noticed that have you concerned, and express concern about them. ("I've noticed you've missed class three times in the past two weeks.")
• Avoid "why" questions, which may be perceived as judgmental.
• Ask open-ended questions. ("Tell me a bit more about how things are going for you this semester: What's been difficult? Satisfying...")
• Listen to the cadet's response. You need not be scared off by an emotional response. Talking about a problem, or labeling a crisis, does not make it worse. It is the first step toward resolving it. Be patient. Don't give up if the cadet doesn't talk easily.
• Allow the cadet to tell his/her story. Allow silences if they occur. Sometimes what follows can be especially productive.
• Restate what you have heard so that the cadet will know you understand.
• Suggest resources and offer hope
• Encourage the cadet to utilize available resources (dyke, CCC, academic advisor, chaplain services, etc.)
• Convey to the cadet that asking for help is a sign of strength.
• Suggest a "one time" visit to speak with a counselor at the CCC.
• Call the CCC, for consultation and advice about next steps.